Sweet Things

1. The sun coming up after the rain.

2. Doing homework to the Gladiator soundtrack. (try it, it makes writing papers so intense!)

3. Watching my husband cook.

4. The feeling of wearing a brand new sweatshirt.

5. Listening to birds chirp.

6. Crossing things off of our to do list.

7. Being young and courageous.

8. Aaron pretending to be a flying squirrel when the sheets come out of the dryer.

9. The smell of our dryer sheets. (tropical fiesta!)

10. Knowing that God is at the center of all of it and that He loves me.

Life is Calling

Spring break is 3 days away. The end of my college career is swiftly coming upon me. These past few months have been a whirlwind of choices, mistakes, discoveries, wants, wishes, and needs. I can't clearly say yet whether they are all good or bad or both, but I can say Aaron and I have not yet landed.

It's my fault too. I am so eager to discover my calling and jump in head first that I forget being a grown up means more than getting to do what you want. Being married means I have to think of my husband, and being a Christian and called into ministry means that God is who I look to first for all my steps. Experiencing the doldrums of last semester left me convinced that the next step in the process was going straight to seminary. As soon as everything looked like it was locked down, I was fortunate enough to cross paths with a pastor whose first impression on me never left my mind. Through conversing with her and believing in my gut, Aaron and I made the decision to pull back and reassess where God was calling. In other words, we made the decision to not make any decisions yet.

That sent me on a frantic search for direction. Was God leading us to seminary in the fall or an internship 20 hours away from home, or to just stay put in the place I have always known, or what?!?! It seems like when I want God to holler down to me through thunderbolts and lightening He never does. He gives me feelings and randomly things just happen.

For example, Aaron and I were trying to decide what the best time to buy plane tickets was for flying out to Colorado and we were freaking out about money. All the sudden, on a walk we were taking with some friends, a twenty dollar bill pops up. This translates to me as God saying, "Don't Worry About It!"  When it came to seminary, Aaron and I weren't sure if Asbury would be the right fit. After about 2 hours on campus we knew it was going to be a wonderful place for us to be when the time was right. The community and Holy Spirit were definitely thriving on that campus, and God used them to replace all the doubts that had crept into our minds about it.Then I started freaking out (can you tell I like to freak out?) about whether or not I could even get an internship, I was having a hard time finding good options for us and in the course of 4 days 2 huge opportunities besides the one I was already looking at just fell into my lap. God is AMAZING!

So we still don't know where we are going or what will happen in the next 2 months, but this process has shown us and me specifically a few huge truths about God. I have always known these, but experiencing them in new ways gives us a new perspective as we walk through life.

1) He will not leave you- even when I was the most confused and vulnerable He showed me love and gave me assurance of His calling on my life.
2) He is bigger than all the problems you can conjure up- I am good at stirring up problems internally and externally (just ask Aaron ) and He always delvers peace and assurance into my heart.
3) He is Good- When I think I am the worst of the worst, and will never amount to anything as a pastor He shows me His goodness and reminds me of the value I have just because I am made in His image.
4) He Loves- Above all things this is what God keeps drawing me back into. His love heals, overcomes, directs, and delivers. He has loved me so deeply and for so long. I could get lost in His love forever.

Praise Him from whom all blessings flow, Praise Him all creatures here below.

Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts, Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost.

Amen

Love Feast

So this week was host to a special holiday that a lot of people like a lot. Valentine's day has always had the potential to be my best friend and my worst enemy. In recent years it has been in the passenger seat since Aaron and I's anniversary is on the 16th. We haven't really celebrated it until this year. Instead of a day though we had an entire week. The 6th was our 6th month anniversary of marriage, the 14th was Valentine's day and the 16th is our sweetheart day so we had a lot to celebrate! Okay, it wasn't non-stop fun the whole week, I mean we still had work and classes :) but we did find time to have great talks, give gifts, and finally have some time for us to be us. So here is a little peek at our love feast :)

We celebrated Valentine's Day at 12:15 am when Aaron got home from work on the 14th :) We couldn't wait!!

He got me awesome headphones, a chalkboard mug(how sweet is that!?!?!) and a box of giant cookies.

I made him a mousepad with one of his favorite pictures from our honeymoon on it :)

Today we celebrated our sweetheart day with caramel macchiatos after our classes got out. Yum!

and then I somehow talked him into cleaning with me and he dusted our ceiling fans. He turned into a dust bunny in the process. A very cute and grumpy dust bunny :)

Then we went on a walk in the beautiful weather we are having.

We had dinner with Becca Bee at Casa Brava!

I thought I had a ton of food...

And then I saw Aaron's plate!

We are currently being lame and doing homework/ random projects we have been needing to do for awhile, but the best part is we are at home together relaxing and that is my favorite. I really, really, REALLY love this guy!! I can't believe we have been married six months already :)

Aaron's First Haircut

Aaron refuses to go to a barber. His mom usually always cuts his hair. Unfortunately we haven't been able to see Margie in a long time and Aaron's hair was getting pretty crazy. So the poor guy had to let me attempt to trim his locks for the first time. Honestly I didn't know how I was going to do, but I had hope. I guess I will let you be the judge of it... :)

Getting ready.

My tools.

He is super excited :)

First cut!

I had started giggling and saying "oopps" by this point and Aaron's expression reflects his feelings about that.

All done with the back... I think :)

All done! He hasn't seen it yet so he is still skeptical.

Lots and lots of hair puffs.

Okay it might look terrible in the photos but I assure you Aaron approved and it actually looks pretty good. It turned out much better than the first time I cut my little brother's hair. Let's just say Mattie's hair was edgy before edgy was cool :)

Matthew 6:25-34

		"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?
		Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
		"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.
		Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.
		If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
		So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'
		For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.
		But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
		Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." I read this on Tuesday morning this past week I think. I felt so much peace after thinking about what these words mean from God to me, and well to all of us. It is so easy to get snagged on all the things life throws at us. Bills, homework, fights, sicknesses, confusion, death, birth, and all the other things you can think of. God is there through all of it and often times He takes the sidelines as we try to micro manage every detail of our days. I know I am like this. I just wrote about it a couple weeks ago. I was begging God to just tell me what to do because I had exhausted myself trying to figure it all out. Guess what?? He did! He took care of me! Fancy that. The God of the universe, all powerful, all knowing took time out of His busy existence to tend to lil old me. He does it all the time for all of us! Or He tries to if we would stop worrying about all of it. He thoughtfully crafted every detail of the earth. All the flowers are unique and beautiful and each bird has its own special sound. He cares so much for the them so why do we forget that He cares so much more for us? We bear the image and likeness of the everlasting God. That is intense! We have so much worth for that fact alone. On top of it He loves us. I consult the ones I love on this earth with the dealings of my life and I trust their advice so why is it so easy to skip God's input? I know how I feel when someone is struggling and they don't take my advice or even worse they don't confide in me when I am willing to help. It sucks. I don't want to do that my Father in Heaven. There are a million things to worry about, but Scripture tells us to give it up. Let the Big Guy take care of it like He takes care of everything else. He provides for those things which are fleeting, so why wouldn't He take care of our needs? Just tonight I cried out to God to come very close to me and take care of my needs. It is always funny to me how He prepares me before hand for the events that break my strength. I worry for my family, for financial issues, for health, for myself. In the few seconds I had to silently beg the Father to take my burdens I remembered this passage from scripture and He placed peace in me in the midst of struggle. I don't have the answers still, but I know not to worry. "Seek the kingdom of God above all else,and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need."

My Last First Day of School

Tomorrow will be my very last first day of school. Well, at least that last first day of school since I started school as a little one. But I did just found out that I am accepted to Asbury!!! So in a way this is not the very end of my educational career, but it is the end of a very interesting chapter of my life.

To finally be so close to graduation brings with it the whole gamut of human emotions (for me anyways I am an emotional person). While I  am excited to be back in the classroom and see friends and profs, I can't help but feel apprehensive about the future. I love learning (not so much writing and researching) but I am eager to get out there and work. I want to start doing the work I have been training for! It is also really scary. I still feel like there is a wall between me and the real world. Even though marriage has shown me a taste of what it means to be grown up and more responsible and all, graduating and leaving IWU is still like leaving home for the first time.

This is where I became and adult. This is the place where Kourtney and I would stay up really late dancing to TLC and watching stupid YouTube videos. This is the place I let go and told God that His plan was better than mine. And because of that I met the man that I love and married. I have laughed and cried and failed and succeeded. I have changed in so many ways yet stayed the same in many also. I love the history here. I don't want to leave it, but at the same time leaving can make coming back so much sweeter.

Like I have done ever since my mom started letting me pick out my own clothes, I laid out my clothes that I want to wear. I have my backpack packed. I have organized my notebooks and folders in complimenting colors and double checked that I have my alarms set for the right times. I have jitters even though I have done this so many times before. I don't want time to slip away like it always seems to when you work hard and have fun. I want this to be my best semester ever. It isn't to late to change for the better. It isn't to late to make life-long friends. It isn't too late to try all the things I was too afraid to as a freshman.

God has brought me so far in my life. I am almost ready to turn the page and start over again, but I am so blessed to have one last semester to treasure all the wonderful things that we have here at IWU. I might not always act like it, but this is one of the best places in the world.

Here's to the beginning of the end :)

{New Year's Resolutions}

There are somethings that I like about the turn of the year. I don't always make a list of things I want to change or start doing, but this year Aaron and I were talking and we decided on some things for ourselves and for us as a couple. I am happy with these lists and I am excited to see the outcomes :)

Me:
1. Exercise 3 to 5 times a week (this isn't a get skinny thing it is more a get in shape so I can try and run a half marathon this year.
2. Read 10 books! 5 classics, 2 biographies and 3 fun books, which for me are the Percy Jackson series, anything by Sarah Dessen, and crafty books :)
3. Learn to sew.
4. Start writing and keeping a journal again.
5. Read through my Bible in a year.
6. Make a Recipe Binder- to finally organize all the recipes I have learned/acquired so I will be more willing to use them :)

Aaron:
1. Write Nikki a note for every week of the year.
2. Read his Bible in a year.
3. Build something with his hands, like a new dining room table :)
4. Be healthier.

For Us:
1. Go on walks everyday.
2. Plan a date once a month and go!
3. Save as much as we can for the future.
4. Learn to read each other's facial expressions better, working on our mastermind (I will explain this later).

I'm excited for this year :) So many new things are on the horizon.

Too many Questions, Too many Answers & no Clear direction

The future was exciting as a child. Growing up meant getting your first kiss. Growing up meant getting a license and a job. Growing up meant leaving home and becoming an independent (sort of ). It was full of new things and new people. Opportunities to discover and fail and succeed and stretch your limits.

Unfortunately too many things pop up that squash your hopes and dreams. They take the wind out of your sails. You scramble sometimes and don't know what to do. You miss deadlines and loose the job or the cash or the chance to do something you thought you would never do or never achieve. No one can give you answers and you wonder why you wanted to grow up in the first place.

Well that is part of getting older. You learn as you grow. You don't always do things right the first time. Things don't always turn out the way you thought they would when you were a little kid. That is how I feel right now, but it isn't a bad thing, just confusing.

I know God called me to ministry, but one semester away from graduation I don't know what that means for the millionth time since I was called. Now it seems more scary. It isn't just me anymore. I have a husband I have to think about and he has plans and dreams too. We have families and friends that we don't want to leave. There are too many options and too little solutions.

I have been trying to get into seminary for a long time and things keep coming up. Papers aren't in that I thought were. I need something else every time I turn around. There is tons of paperwork to fill out and tons of scholarships to apply for and of course all of those come with lovely deadlines. I'm stressed out about it. I don't know if now is the time to go to seminary or not. I know I need to and I want to but I wonder if God is trying to turn my attention to something else right now. Should I take a year off from school and gather myself? I could work in a church maybe and get some real experience. Should we move away from our families and friends and learn to live by ourselves for awhile? Should we move back to my hometown or Aaron's?

I. Don't. Know

All I want is to know what God wants me to do for Him, for the kingdom, for us. I want everything to be okay. I want it to be dreamy and full of excitement like when I was little. When did the unknown become so scary? I remember being a brave kid. I got knocked down and you get right back up. What happened to her?

Well I don't have anything to offer right now, but I am seeking to find out. I am going to start with God and focusing on Him and this final semester. I am going to work my butt off so I can take some weight off of Aaron and be able to provide for our future after IWU. I am going to do what I can about seminary but not pull out my hair over it.

If there is one conclusion I have come to after 21 years of life it is this; Not ever choice is either/ or. You can come back to the fork in the road you went left on in the past and then see where the path to the right leads.

{Very Happy Holidays}

This has definitely been the best holiday season of my life. I couldn't have dreamed for a better time with friends and family. Even with the little hiccups along the way, I think that this will be a time I look back to for the rest of my life. Aaron and I got to have Christmas at our house with my family. That was awesome and inspired much cooking and baking and decorating.

this is my sweetie pie's Christmas shirt. He is quite the artist when he puts his mind to it :)

making our first batch of cookies. We ended up with enough to take to 4 houses!

guess what these are...

they include lots of kisses...

this smelled so good.

Peanut Butter Kisses!!!!

second batch

It includes a little something extra.

Orange zest +

Lemon zest +

fun Christmas shapes =

Citrus sugar cookies :) these were REALLY good, thanks to Aaron, the master baker.

Xander loves opening presents.

BeBot shirt!! that is what he calls robots :)

Mattie is really excited about presents.

He is so stinkin cute :)

Aaron really like Xander's little wind-up robots that Dad got him for Christmas.

presents were everywhere

The fun didn't stop here. After we cleared away all our wrapping paper scraps and played some of our new games, we headed back to Dad's to have Christmas with my Mom. That was tons of fun. Then we got to have more fun with our friends. Matt and Kourtney have a tradition of going to the 11 p.m. Christmas Eve service and then going and getting gas station food. It doesn't have to make sense because it is tradition and our friends are wonderful and weird just like us :) So we headed to there house for more Christmas and a sleepover!

Kourt looks like Mulan

I was talking in this picture and don't look as excited as I am. Kourt made JINGLE BELL bobby pins!! These are the coolest :) She also made homemade body scrub. Awesome!

Matt made homemade presents too.

Barbecue Sauce! cleverly disguised in a re-purposed Pringles can :) 

Mr. Meowgi wanted to be in the center of the activity so he could nap

watch for the change in Matt's face...

Priceless :)

What's in here?

Shoes that Kourtney adores which makes me very happy

She made an ornament out of and old scrabble game :)

French Press! I have used this so many times already. It is the bomb.

Now all of this was Christmas Eve. On Christmas day after we had orange rolls with Matt and Kourt we traveled home to Cincinnati to spend time with my new family. We had an awesome meal and were totally spoiled by our gifts. Margie made me my very own Christmas blanket. Blankets are kind of a big deal. Jason has a Duke one, Aaron has an IWU one and she has made a ton for Jason's friends in college. So I got mine and I told Aaron as soon as I opened it that it probably is going to live on our couch all year, even though it isn't Christmas all year :) We had a blast and played board games and saw Sherlock Holmes. The guys played lots of video games and both had interesting endings :) On Friday we set out again to Northern Indiana for the Rice Family reunion. I have been a part of one of these before Aaron and I were engaged and married so this was my first as an official family member. After such a great Christmas I didn't think things could be better, but this reunion was icing on top of the cake :)

First view of the inn

little stockings on our door :)

We had our own buffet

Genius.

 catching up with pictures

:)

There was an arcade

Aaron had an intense battle with the the pinball machine

Shawn tired really hard to win this game but it was tough

CRAFT ROOM! unfortunately I didn't have time to go paint :( ...

because we decided to play Monopoly

at the beginning I had money

This was the most intense game I have ever played.

Jason won. I went out first. Aaron wouldn't make any deals with me BUT I owned Indiana :)

cute decorations

red bird :)

Aaron was so excited for New Year's Eve. He is so adorable

It wouldn't be a Rice reunion without euchere

Sam, Melba & Margie. They had the best hats :)

<3  

there was a lot of dancing

I love this picture :)

Bubbles!

Everyone was decked out in New's Years apparel

Melba snacks with the real Melba in the background :)

Aaron and I took on Amy and Jason

This happened a lot :)

In the end Aaron and I prevailed and Amy and Jason went on to face Margie and Aaron. Once again they lost. Margie beat them on a loner :)

We had so much sparkling juice!!

Red and white grape, strawberry and apple-pomegranate. I couldn't keep the flavors straight!

waiting for the countdown...

still waiting...

cute lil baby :)

I didn't get a picture with all the ornaments on but we sent in baby pictures and then had to guess who everyone was. Right before midnight we all got our pictures and finally figured out who was who. It was a great idea and a lot of fun.

I haven't really changed much... I still have the same haircut from when I was little. I guess my Mom does know what looks best :)

Gene, Melba, Sarah & Sam

Right after midnight! I couldn't get my camera up in time to get a shot of the toasts and bubbles cause Aaron gave me a New Year's kiss :) I couldn't help but put this up though because of Ryan's face haha

This was such a great time. I got to meet family that I hadn't before and spend more time with people that I hadn't gotten a chance to really see or talk to since the wedding. We had a great time and stayed up way too late and now we are really tired but it was totally worth it. This is what the holidays are all about. Being with the people you love and making memories :) I am so incredibly blessed.